Part 2 Questions – Adulthood, Identity, The Present, Aging, Life Lessons, Legacies

Did you go to university or college? How did you decide what you wanted to study? Did you serve in the military? What did you do and what kind of experience was it? How did you decide what you wanted to do with your life? How do you feel about that choice? What was your first job? What did you like or not like about it? What job did you do most of your life? What did you like most about it? Least?

Sadly (or not) I decided while in high school to not go to college. I was in all the college prep classes being groomed to continue my education. I developed a “noble” (?) notion that I wanted to work with my hands. Eventually, after a few temporary jobs, that is what I did. I became an apprentice to an “old timey” patternmaker and worked under him for about 3 ½ years. He insisted I learn to sew first. He crossed his arms to show “that first, or I teach you nothing”. Then I learned “draping”- throwing fabric on a mannequin, pinning, snipping, tucking until the pattern pieces emerged. From there I learned “flat patternmaking”, still by hand, on paper. After I left him, I got on computers and have been on them ever since.

How did you meet your spouse? What did you like about him/her? How and when did you get engaged? When did you get married? How old were you? Where did you get married? What was your wedding like? What was the first big purchase you made with your spouse? What makes your spouse special or unique? How many children do you have? When were they born? How did you decide what to name each? What’s your favorite story about each of your children? What is something funny or embarrassing one of your children said at an early age that you’ll never forget? What’s the most memorable family vacation you took? What do you remember about holiday celebrations? Is there one holiday memory that stands out for you? How did you feel about raising your children? What was the best part? The hardest part? What makes you proud of your children? How is my father/mother like me? Unlike me? What do you remember about me when I was born? What about when I was younger than I am now? What the best thing about being a parent? A grandparent? Do you know the meaning of your family name? Have you ever had any nicknames as a child or as an adult? Where did they come from? How are you like your mother? Unlike her? How are you like your father? Unlike him? What was most important to your parents? Do you feel you’re like any of your grandparents? In what ways? How are your children like you? Unlike you? What do you think are your three best qualities? Your three worst?

Ah, life! These would take an autobiography. And a bottle of wine. (I don’t drink). But I may come back to some of these. Someday I may write my memoirs! But I keep moving that stake further out into the future.

I will touch on this one I pulled out though:

Are there stories about the origins of your family name?

Great-Great-Granddaddy's resting place. Wiley Taylor (same name as my Dad!) 1814-1891

9 years ago, I moved from Kentucky to the Augusta Georgia area. I learned that my Great-Great-Grandaddy is buried here, about 2 miles from where I started working. Digging into family history: He was a ‘dirt’ farmer (meaning “dirt poor” I am sure) in eastern North Carolina, moved his family to the Augusta area sometime before the Civil War, bought 3 acres off Tobacco Road, south Augusta. Within 20 years he was buying up hundreds of acres just west of Augusta. No one who researched things knew how he was able to do this, where he got the money. He got into the timber business. He and his wife moved to Arkansas, where he bought some property (I have a copy of a deed from Arkansas), his wife died there, he moved back to live out his life in Georgia. His sons started buying up property in the Dublin, Geogia (east of Macon), still in the timber business. They floated logs downstream and at times rode the logs to their destination to prevent theft. Then they bought up land in South Georgia, Moultrie, my hometown, eventually branching down into north Florida. Some of the Taylors started businesses around Moultrie, such as a fertilizer company and cotton mills. They eventually lost the timber business, and the money gained from it. I do not know what happened.

Which do you think you have the most of: talent, intelligence, education, or persistence? How has it helped you in your life? Do you have any special sayings or expressions?

I have had during my career an overabundance of confidence. Some, I feel, took it at times as arrogance, but I have never considered myself so. Just super confident in my chosen advocation. And it did help me along the way.

What’s your favorite book and why? What’s your favorite movie and why?

I have read since I was old enough to hold a book and have lists of favorites, so pinning it down to one would take some work. Any book which makes one think, I seek out. An indicator of a favorite could be books I have read more than once. “Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance” (Robert Pirsig), read 3 or 4 times. The narrator seeks to find a definition for “quality”. The reader follows him into mental illness and out again. Similarly, “The Bell Jar” (Sylvia Plath) follows its heroine into a breakdown. I recommend both. I have read JRR Tolkien’s books at least 9 times over the decades. Escapism, yes, it is there. But there are lessons therein also! Just see them. I have quite a list, and they would require a lot of room. I have some reviews of recent reads on my site, but nothing compares to the classics.

Who are three people in history you admire most and why?

1. Doc Watson, musician. Blind, he was a phenomenal instrumentalist, primarily on guitar, but also, blind, he could build a 2-room building and only be off ½” from end-to-end.

2. 2. Nikola Tesla, inventor/thinker. He was otherworldly in his vision. Without a degree his knowledge of science and the things he invented went well beyond that of his peers. If indeed he had any.

3. Marcus Aurelius. Everyone should read his “Meditations”. A Stoic philosopher, he tried to live his philosophy.

What have been the three biggest news events during your lifetime and why?

Death of JFK, the event brought a country together (’63). Challenger explosion (’86), the event brought a country together. 9-11 (2001), the event brought a country together. Sadly, the togetherness didn’t stick.

If you could travel into the future, would you rather see something that specifically relates to you, or

something that relates to the future of the country in general? Why? If you could have three wishes, what would they be?

The future is hazy. Even the past is hazy (it seems, we never learn from the past). If all of history were a parade, with the past downstream, and the future tagging along upstream, then the sky is a mirror in which we could look up and see in either direction. But that sky has turbulence, at times cloudy. Aerial perspective kicks up its heels distorting reflected images: an unreliable narrator. 50 years ago, we saw flying cars, which should have appeared about now, instead we are now tickled that our horns blow when we lock our vehicles. Distortion. We saw humans progressing towards —> better. Evolved, more empathetic. Instead racism, corruption, greed seems to be at an all time high, perpetuated by those whose agendas are not conducive to the vision mentioned. I am not so sure I want to look into the future. 3 wishes? Those stories never end well.

If you won $1 million tomorrow, what would you do with the money?

I am quite sure I would give most of it away.

What’s the highest honor or award you’ve ever received? What’s the most memorable phone call you’ve ever received? What’s the best compliment you ever received? What kinds of things bring you the most pleasure now? When you were a younger adult? A child? What things frighten you now? What frightened you when you were a younger adult? A child? What’s the one thing you’ve always wanted but still don’t have? Do you feel differently about yourself now from how you felt when you were younger? How? What do you think has stayed the same about you throughout your life? What do you think has changed?

Skip, for now.

Do you have any hobbies or special interests? Do you enjoy any particular sports?

Too many hobbies. Here is a web page citing them, by decade if applicable. I am not much of a sports fan though. Unless Chess qualifies as one.

What’s your typical day like now? How is it different from your daily routines in the past? Is the present better or worse than when you were younger? What do you do for fun? Who do you trust and depend on? What things are most important to you now? Why? How have your dreams and goals changed through your life? What do you see? (Hold a mirror up to the person).

Routine, a good thing! Arise, walk dog, eat breakfast, walk dog. Either work (semi-retired) or hobbies. Naps are important.

What do you remember about your 20s? 30s? 40s? 50s? 60s?

20s- friends were important. No fear of “falling” (what youngsters call ‘falling down’). 30-40s- career. 50s - health, being outdoors (mostly hiking the forests) 60s- quality of life, no desire to “have a fall” (what old timers called ‘falling down’).

What events stand out in your mind? How was each age different from the one before it? There are some ages we don’t look forward to. What birthday were you least enthusiastic about? Why? If you could go back to any age, which age would it be and why? How do you feel now about growing old?

I would not want to go back, especially if I can’t take what I have learned/experienced with me. Life is balance. And all encompassing. From birth we started our path to death. And death is another part of life.

What’s the hardest thing about growing older? The best thing? What were your parents like when they got older? Did you have any expectations at points in your life about what growing older would be like for you?

Hardest thing: that young people won’t listen if you try to convey life’s lessons, lessons learned the hard way. My Dad, when older, grew more patient, more empathetic, mellow. Growing up he did not like, cats, boats, water or fishing. On retiring he lived on a lake, with a pontoon boat, fished and babysat the neighbor’s cats. Mom, growing up didn’t like heights, mountains, cliffs. On retiring, she in lived in my cabin in Kentucky which faced a cliff, its ¼ mile driveway was rather narrow and dropped off on one side.

Me, I hope to spend more time on hobbies: writing, reading, painting, wood projects.

How should a person prepare for old age? Is there anything you wish you’d done differently?

Save for your old age. Pay yourself, perhaps 10% of everything you make, set it aside. Do not touch it. It isn’t asking a lot. Learn about compound interest. How it works against you (debt, avoid!!!) and how it can work for you (that 10% mentioned above). Learn “delayed gratification”. Look that phrase up, live it!

Do you think about the future and make plans? What are your concerns for the future? If you live another 20-30 years, what will you do? Do you want to live another 20-30 years? What do you look forward to now?

Death is but a part of life. And a door to the next adventure. I am looking forward to it when its time comes.

What’s your most cherished family tradition? Why is it important? What have you liked best about your life so far? What’s your happiest or proudest moment? What do you feel have been the important successes in your life? The frustrations? What’s the most difficult thing that ever happened to you? How did you deal with it? What do you think the turning points have been in your life? What were you like then? Are there times of your life that you remember more vividly than others? Why? What have been the most influential experiences in your life?

You sure ask a lot of questions! (kidding)

Describe a person or situation from your childhood that had a profound effect on the way you look at life.

My maternal Grandmother. She had a way, almost Stoic, of taking life as it presents itself. If she ever had to “get onto you”, she would simply talk to you and you knew what you did wrong and would not do that (whatever it was) again.

If you were writing the story of your life, how would you divide it into chapters? What, if anything, would you have done differently in your life? What do you know now that you wish you’d known when you were young? What have you thrown away in your life that you wish you hadn’t? What have you held on to that’s important and why is it important? What “junk” have you held on to and why? Over time, how have you changed the way you look at life/people? What advice did your grandparents or parents give you that you remember best? Do you have a philosophy of life? What’s your best piece of advice for living? If a young person came to you asking what’s the most important thing for living a good life, what would you say?

I have wasted a lot of time, especially as a young adult. Television, idle time, etc. You cannot get that time back.

How do you define a “good life” or a “successful life”? Do you think a person needs to first overcome serious setbacks or challenges to be truly successful? In what way is it important to know your limitations in your life or career?

Live as though there were no tomorrow, meaning, to the fullest. Yes, there will be setbacks. There will be mistakes. Those should be viewed as lessons. Learn from them. Apply those lessons.

If you had the power to solve one and only one problem in the world, what would it be and why?

Racism. Greed. Wait, that is two. Let’s throw corruption on that pile. Why? Without those problems we would have to solve (and would be able to solve) growing enough food to feed everyone, without killing the planet doing so. Without those things listed, there would be no war. There would be resources to treat and study diseases. I feel war (and perhaps, disease) is one Mother Nature’s means of controlling the population. Think about: to control “too many rabbits” nature sends in the wolves. To control “too many wolves”, nature reduces the rabbits. Mother Nature has her ways. But humans, with their opposable thumbs and minds to create better and better weapons, are not easily controlled with her usual bag-o-tricks. So possibly Mother Nature wired us to “go to war” and expend much of our energies in that arena. Clever lady, she is. And as smart as we think we are, we have yet to figure it out. We are our own worst enemy.

What do you see as your place or purpose in life? How did you come to that conclusion?

I recently received a beautiful letter from one of my former clients. I worked with her and her husband on their dream project. Her husband passed away. She wrote thanking me for helping them. It was a touching letter. I have tried to help those who I can help.

On the flip side, I realized that there are some who cannot be helped. And trying to help those does nothing good for either.

Learning to tell those two type apart: tricky. Especially if we want to help everyone.